we will become sillhouettes.

long post up ahead.

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I lie. I admit that I lie. I lie a lot. I know that. And I'm kind of sorry for it. I lie about different things. Small lies, big lies. I should probably stop. They're frivolous, meaningless. So what. I should be honest. I lie when you ask me my name. I lie when you ask me where I'm from. I lie when you ask me how old I am. Does it matter though? I'm just joking.

But when I lie about bigger things, that's when I get scared. When you ask me what they do. When you ask me how my day was. When you ask me how I am.

But when you're the right person, I don't lie. I tell the truth. At least most of the time. I lie to you because I'm scared. Do you tell the truth all the time, or do you get scared too?

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I don't like it when people talk when other people talk about cancer. I don't like talking about cancer in school. I don't like people who don't give it the respect it deserves.

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Saturday morning I went to Mimi's Cafe. I've been going there all my life, since I was probably two. The place has changed, the people that go have changed. They no longer serve the yogurt that my mom used to enjoy or have the same sweet mints they had at the front desk. The servers have changed. We have changed.

When I was around probably five or six, that's when my sister worked there. She was once a hostess, and got moved to waitress. I remember we visited her at work one day and she brought me a cherry-7up concoction. For children's dessert, the restaurant serves little cups of pudding with oreo crumbs on top and two gummy worms. After eating my dessert, I then went to where my sister was. She snuck me more gummy worms. We ate them out of the big bucket with her and her friend.

Sienna began working there the same time a guy named Jason did. She left, moved to New York, and is now back. He is now manager. When he sees us he comps our meals.


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I should be sorry, but it's hard to. Is it even right to?

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Then there was Sue. She always had her hair done with like a high bun. She started the catastrophe of putting whipped cream on Bianca's chocolate milk. She doesn't drink it without it now. Sue eventually left, and we were only left with the whipped cream mark she left us.

After Sue was Anette. Anette knew Sienna too. When Sienna moved to New York, we would still talk to Anette. She would always ask me about the books I was reading, and surprisingly she'd be reading them too. Especially the Series of Unfortunate Events and Harry Potter. Anette would always talk to my mom about random things, but a lot about being latina but looking white and a lot of jokes I didn't understand as a fifth grader. When we took our break from Mimi's, Anette left and we never got a phone number. I did get some pretty good book suggestions.

Now there's DeSeana, also known as just D at work. D's been there since Anette. I've always heard about her kids, who are the same age as me, and how they have grown just like I have. But I've never met them. She shows us pictures when we go and talks about her schooling and eventually leaving Mimi's to work elsewhere. She's now done with school, but still occassionally works the weekends. We saw her Saturday for the first time in around a year. She saw Sienna for the first time in around four years.

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You really do intimidate me. I don't like you. Bad combination. Is it me? I don't want to lose.

Times change. Will I just be a sillhouette of what I was?